How are you?!
Staring at me…she never answers…
If someone touched her
My turtle will hide inside her shell
Where do I myself could hide...
If one.... just called my name?!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Shelter
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
قلبها علبة ألوان
There's so much beauty in this world....that i can't take.....that i don't wanna miss
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Squaring the circle
There will always be
A new kind of pain
waiting.
A door that looks just like
any other.
A key that is supposed to
open another.
To knock is simple
To be handed the key……
…and the maze.
The choice…is to open
or to throw.
"A word is dead
When it is said
Some would say.
But only then
It starts to live."
No one’s safe
and the choice must
be made.
Like a tree…
not sure when
it is time to get cut
but sure it will.
The image of the Other side
is just an illusion
till crossing the bridge.
It is certainly… tempting
but the try…!
What is worthy more?!
An illusion becomes not?!
the idea of certainty?!
The womb…
the baby shall break
or else it is dead.
to Suzanne Alaywan
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Sweet Boredom
As usual, my relationship with this blog goes up and down
Explaining adds nothing, the little you read …the little you write…that’s right yazan!
Writing from this corner for the first time, new feelings …new places….faces…and the same messed up me.
Izo is standing over my shoulders watching me writing…ok…gonna be as simple as my life has been for the past few months, no surprise!
this city is changing definitely…lattakia, the poor Mediterranean sleepy forgotten lazy city and the very inspiring, though, one.
In a year…maybe less, things might change. Maybe new life…new city…or even new country.
In a year a whole new start.
At least that’s what I’d like to think.
Years pass really faster than hours…minutes, suddenly I’m a fifth year student!
The pessimistic me raises all the questions…exploring the options, and making pre-decisions.
I’ve been lucky this year, unique experiences, people, circumstances and a relief…the relief that only such laziness I’ve surrendered to would give.
Moments of thrill, passion highness and more…to end up with a conclusion, those moments of “joy” or “happiness” are few, and very short in time. Not that I’m being blackish again… it’s the simple truth, I can’t enjoy anything for more than seconds. Whose mistakes?! I don’t really care.
Only in my mind, I’ve traveled to all the places, figured new spheres, and made up a whole new life…facts.
But I’m still here, sitting to the same table at Izo’s coffee shop, writing my posts using the same laptop, and listening to the same music, drinking the same drink, smoking new White Marlboro. Surrounded by same faces…me…the one who gets bored fast enough…enjoying this repeated picture of reality!! Surprising myself, knowing this feeling won’t last …so just trying to embrace it…hold on to it for the longest time.
Appreciation is the lesson…appreciating people, time and the chance of watching my city becomes not mine.
Giving up that urge to detect mistakes here and there…opening up to all kinds of people.
It feels exactly like stretching your body…on a crowded lattakian beach…giving the sun a chance to reach each part of your weak body…every cell…melting…ready to be shaped into any image…any personality…
New starts freak everybody out. People tend to “appreciate the comforts of every day routine- the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition”. I like anybody, share the same feelings. With a little space inside, to unleash my own humble dreams. Knowing that time will come for a change…till then, I’m very proud of this feeling.
Explaining adds nothing, the little you read …the little you write…that’s right yazan!
Writing from this corner for the first time, new feelings …new places….faces…and the same messed up me.
Izo is standing over my shoulders watching me writing…ok…gonna be as simple as my life has been for the past few months, no surprise!
this city is changing definitely…lattakia, the poor Mediterranean sleepy forgotten lazy city and the very inspiring, though, one.
In a year…maybe less, things might change. Maybe new life…new city…or even new country.
In a year a whole new start.
At least that’s what I’d like to think.
Years pass really faster than hours…minutes, suddenly I’m a fifth year student!
The pessimistic me raises all the questions…exploring the options, and making pre-decisions.
I’ve been lucky this year, unique experiences, people, circumstances and a relief…the relief that only such laziness I’ve surrendered to would give.
Moments of thrill, passion highness and more…to end up with a conclusion, those moments of “joy” or “happiness” are few, and very short in time. Not that I’m being blackish again… it’s the simple truth, I can’t enjoy anything for more than seconds. Whose mistakes?! I don’t really care.
Only in my mind, I’ve traveled to all the places, figured new spheres, and made up a whole new life…facts.
But I’m still here, sitting to the same table at Izo’s coffee shop, writing my posts using the same laptop, and listening to the same music, drinking the same drink, smoking new White Marlboro. Surrounded by same faces…me…the one who gets bored fast enough…enjoying this repeated picture of reality!! Surprising myself, knowing this feeling won’t last …so just trying to embrace it…hold on to it for the longest time.
Appreciation is the lesson…appreciating people, time and the chance of watching my city becomes not mine.
Giving up that urge to detect mistakes here and there…opening up to all kinds of people.
It feels exactly like stretching your body…on a crowded lattakian beach…giving the sun a chance to reach each part of your weak body…every cell…melting…ready to be shaped into any image…any personality…
New starts freak everybody out. People tend to “appreciate the comforts of every day routine- the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition”. I like anybody, share the same feelings. With a little space inside, to unleash my own humble dreams. Knowing that time will come for a change…till then, I’m very proud of this feeling.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Bob Dylan
for bob dylan's "believers".....this is a must watch.
Dylan didn't want to become the insider.....he's always been an outsider....
I say.....ZOOM OUT PEOPLE!
Saturday, March 22, 2008
On Sin, Love and me
Noise is eating my mind
Need is growing inside
Desperate to go insane
Though I know it’s all in vain
Need is growing inside
Desperate to go insane
Though I know it’s all in vain
Trapped by unreal chains
Surrounded by bullshit and blame
Dead they are….and I’m alive
Strangers to their bodies… pretending that’s right
Deceivers….liars…assholes and whores
Full of sin ….still.. they rule
And the feelings they ignore
Will be there no more
Full of sin ….still.. they rule
And the feelings they ignore
Will be there no more
To break into their minds
To pull them out of their disguise
I am going to…
To pull them out of their disguise
I am going to…
To open their eyes
To yell: beds are sinless …love is sinless
And I’m ready to pay the price
To yell: beds are sinless …love is sinless
And I’m ready to pay the price
Come…let’s shake their cave
Come…let’s prove we’re brave
Come…hold my hand
Come…let’s clean this land
Come…let’s prove we’re brave
Come…hold my hand
Come…let’s clean this land
Of sin….they shall always talk
In hell… their souls must be washed……..
In hell… their souls must be washed……..
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Update
breaking news.....I can smile again :D:D:D:D:D:D....
there's still some weakness in the right side but it's a great step forward ....
one thing i've learnt out of being unable to smile properly.....Smile anyway...no matter how .....just keep up the smile. cheeeeeeessssss
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Not Dark Yet !
it's been two months since i last was here....and two months since i got bell's palsy.
things are getting better health wise....but suck about any other thing u might think of!
i'm having mid-term exams now...and i'm realllllly losing it! i can't understand the way this university functions....! i mean after four years i still can't find out the keywords......and of course my dear university doesn't miss a chance on surprising me with all new:
1- only in Tishreen Univ. students would do their exam in 6 degrees in the winter because.....the AC is very high that noone can reach it and......the remote control is god know whre!!!!
2- only in Tishreen Univ. the exam is cancelled once you've already written your name on the answers' paper because the Dr. was too ill to do his job and noone thought about you so they don't care for a substitute!
3- only in T.U the classroom's door refuses to get unlocked 10 mins before the exam, and they "the T.U's minds...."...can't think of another room until you've already lost 15 mins.
4- only in T.U doctors believe in your highly respected mind that can lead into learning a whole programming language in just 1 hr 30 mins :D:D:D:D:D:D:D.......
and no...it's not dark yet since Bob Dylan's yelling at me that i should "hate nothing at all except hatred".......well dear Bob......"it's not dark yet" but "it's getting there for sure".
things are getting better health wise....but suck about any other thing u might think of!
i'm having mid-term exams now...and i'm realllllly losing it! i can't understand the way this university functions....! i mean after four years i still can't find out the keywords......and of course my dear university doesn't miss a chance on surprising me with all new:
1- only in Tishreen Univ. students would do their exam in 6 degrees in the winter because.....the AC is very high that noone can reach it and......the remote control is god know whre!!!!
2- only in Tishreen Univ. the exam is cancelled once you've already written your name on the answers' paper because the Dr. was too ill to do his job and noone thought about you so they don't care for a substitute!
3- only in T.U the classroom's door refuses to get unlocked 10 mins before the exam, and they "the T.U's minds...."...can't think of another room until you've already lost 15 mins.
4- only in T.U doctors believe in your highly respected mind that can lead into learning a whole programming language in just 1 hr 30 mins :D:D:D:D:D:D:D.......
and no...it's not dark yet since Bob Dylan's yelling at me that i should "hate nothing at all except hatred".......well dear Bob......"it's not dark yet" but "it's getting there for sure".
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