Sunday, July 31, 2005

out of nothing at all..

Well, gotta decide now …when n where to stop??
God..what is wrong with me ??!!
Why I just get lost while heading to nowhere??
N why to feel that I’m gonna bump into someone when “my shadow is the only one who walks beside me”…
Why to feel stuck… when I’m in the middle of..actually nothing?!….
being afraid of nothing!!!!!… expecting something from no one!!!!!
Well hell me….I gotta know….gotta crash into a wall which might wakes me up with swollen red eyes…n bloody face…n broken bones …but into somewhere…..
Yet when I hold my guitar, I feel that notes r taking me somewhere …
n my fears disappear, so I lay away my guitar n go back to my puzzled sphere, taking only shades of white memory of guiding notes, but they slowly evaporate….
adding up my confusions n making me search for both the path n the guitar notes…..
that’s when my angry guitar teacher awakes me…telling me that I should play the scale millions of times as a punishment….

Music of the day: Green Day’s boulevard of broken dreams, Coldplay’s in my place & speed of sound, Pink Floyd’s shine on you crazy diamond….

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Paulo Coelho's Maktub

Since I’m a big fan of Paulo Coelho ,I’ve decided to share some of my favorites here… from his book Maktub ‘ which means in Arabic : it’s written….cuz they’ve got this kind of thinkin…that everything is already written by god’

1-The disciple approached his master: "For years I have been seeking illumination," he said. "I feel that I am close to achieving it. I need to know what the next step is." "How do you support yourself?" the master asked. "I haven't yet learned how to support myself; my parents help me out. But that is only a detail." "Your next step is to look directly at the sun for half a minute," said the master. And the disciple obeyed. When the half-minute was over, the master asked him to describe the field that surrounded them. "I can't see it. The sun has affected my vision," the disciple said. "A man who seeks only the light, while shirking his responsibilities, will never find illumination. And one who keep his eyes fixed upon the sun ends up blind," was the master's comment.

2-The master said: "When we sense that the time has come for a change, we begin -- unconsciously -- to run the tape again, to view every defeat we have experienced until then. "And, of course, as we grow older, our number of difficult moments grows larger. But, at the same time, experience provides us with better means of overcoming those defeats, and of finding the path that allows us to go forward. We have to play that second tape on our mental VCR, too. "If we only watch the tape of our defeats, we become paralyzed. If we only watch the tape of our successes, we wind up thinking we are wiser than we really are. "We need both of those tapes."

3-The disciple said to his master: "I have spent most of the day thinking about things I should not be thinking about, desiring things I should not desire and making plans I should not be making." The master invited the disciple to take a walk with him through the forest behind his house. Along the way, he pointed to a plant, and asked the disciple if he knew its name. "Belladonna," said the disciple. "It can kill anyone who eats its leaves." "But it cannot kill anyone who simply observes it," said the master.
"Likewise, negative desires can cause no evil if you do not allow yourself to be seduced by them."

Chill out…
2 b continued...

Saturday, July 23, 2005

live 8 party

well just b4 i forget about it cuz it's been like three weeks since the party took place, but i gotta tell that i was just drunk watching it, everything was perfect , watching my favorite singgers ever, the coldplay for example.....ah i can't get chrise martin n his voice out of my head, well there's somthing about this kind of parties , they make me feel that i'm in touch with the world..... cuz i live in an outcasted country u know..
but this is a weird way of thinking i guess: i believe that there was a positive energy floating around....couldn't u feel it?! n i was asking everyone around (even my grandma) "don't ya feel happy just because)...well most of the pll i asked said "nah....why u'r asking?!", but i guess that it's scintifcially correct, cuz there're all these magnetic fields around, which can be affected by our feelings' radiations, so imagine when "i can't put a number here" but i guess it's more than billion ppl release all this positive energy.....i'm sure u felt it guys...

here again

It’s been ages since I last posted something here, but what can I say….. I was going through a bad phase in my life or a busy one in a mad way to be honest, well it’s been funny sometimes n a pain in the ass others :
1- I had the biggest hard disk problem ever n I had to buy a new one, I don’t wanna talk about my 10 Gigas folders I had to give up on, n don’t wanna talk about the death of my very very special n 4 years old music collection…..boohoo….
2- Now I know what it means to look for a job in syria….well I kinda found one but can’t tell so far, but anyway through my JORNEY I had an interview in Damascus n it was really something well without the hottest weather n the most crowded streets ever it would be the coolest city but I couldn’t stand the weather there ….god u feel that u’r a meat loaf which is being heated , anyway I met a special person there n I wanna tell ya iyado thanx for giving a meaning to my visit, cuz everything else went so wrong ,the job interview , the bus trip , the arrival to lattakia ….
3- I started my second guitar course a week ago n that was cheering (it\s maybe the only good stuff in my last couple of weeks)
4- WOW….. I finally got the chance to taste the bitter of failing a subject I mean after 12 years of perfection in studying …. Now I can call my self a human being…I failed a whole subject….n what I like about it is that I’m ok with it…it wasn\t a shock for me.
That’s enough I guess, well I know I should have wrote something about the ONGOING TERROR SHOW but ….i feel it’s gonna be meaningless cuz I’ll be just like those politicians ,u know using the (WE REFUSE, WE’RE AGAINST….ETC…) speeches ….but those who started the war against terrorism , led to what we’re witnessing ,cuz those 1000 terrorists few years ago r 1000000 now n they’re increasing amazingly ,n I don’t think that the war option was the only one..or the best….well I think I said I don’t wanna talk about these stuff….but I was only being me….to all those innocent ppl who were killed last few weeks …..may your souls rest in peace .

Friday, July 01, 2005



Well it is REALLY confusing , or it’s me who’s not getting the point.
But it’s when I watch …almost EVERY single TV channel, or listen to everyone , talking about the EXTRAORDINARY circumstances we live within , n then immediately a question pops into my mind ….what is SO extraordinary about ‘em , it’s always been like this, we haven’t lived an ordinary life since ages , I can think of no time that I’ve lived or read about, which we can call ORDINARY!! So is it another trick to stick to those dead rules and ppl??