Monday, October 31, 2005


Hmm…I woke up this morning and the same embarrassing question was my “good morning” to me….do I put on my clothes and go to my univ.? let’s see what do we have 2day or should I say what is left for the day… because it was 9:30, my attempts to find my college’s schedule reached a blocked door…but GOD…a sunny morning is waiting for me…gotta catch up with it…and I said what da heck?! I’ll go to the library try to knock down some of my studying mountains, and that’s what I did…took my cd-player…and nothing but Poets of The Fall’s “Signs of Life” album, headed to the library…bought my coffee, a smile was upon my face… “ I’m gonna have fun 2day” this is what I heard myself telling me…let yesterday go to hell…actually it already went there, but you can’t go that far with such an optimistic-positive attitude, little bothering things always find some way to spoil the freewill of mine… “Through your coffee away…this is a library not a cafeteria”, was the first pain in the ass, but that couldn’t fickle my already in mind vision of my day, so I started to study, when some of my best friends came in…didn’t say hi…heh!!! What da hell is wrong with him? Let go gurl… “sa7tek bel denieh” I told myself…I got on with my studying again…to find out that I can’t get anything anymore! Why? I still don’t have an answer…but it wasn’t the coffee…it wasn’t my friend’s neglecting either.
I gathered my pieces and left the library and surprise!! It was raining!! Oh just another sign that I HAVE to blow one last breeze at my day’s blazes before they die, so I took it my way…put my earphones…turned on the machine while walking under the rain…smelling the ground’s special rainy smell, watching how beautiful Lattakia sometimes can be…I can’t write down the questions I carried home after this journey, I forgot half of them. Going with my sister to her “physical therapy” couldn’t make my day much better…going to my guitar lesson was a break… then finally going to one of my school friend’s birthday was really all that I need! GoSh!!! Sitting to people I only meet once a year, and others I don’t even know… “What Are You Doing Here For Heaven’s Sake??!!”…maybe everybody else had fun…but I couldn’t put on a smiley face as usual, though I did when taking photos, the sign this time was “ Screw this day”, so I declared “ Just Another Bad Day Is Over”…I’m writing this while listening to “Sleep”…thinking about my Adam…dear if you’re reading this “ if not, why?!”…
I just want you to know that I spent the last night singing this “Sleep” song to you…hoping you hear me …feel me, though it’s miles between, but it’s only a map thingy as we always believed, and I wanna dedicate it once again to you, I’ll be waiting when this -bad phase- is gone, I just hope it won’t last for too long…because I miss you…and:
Hear your heartbeat Beat a frantic pace
And it's not even seven AM
You're feeling the rush of anguish settling
You cannot help showing them in.
So hurry up then
Or you'll fall behind
and They will take control of you
And you need to heal
The hurt behind your eyes
Fickle words crowding your mind
So…Sleep, sugar, let your dreams flood in,
Like waves of sweet fire, you're safe within.
Sleep, sweetie, let your floods come rushing in,
And carry you over to a new morning
Try as you might You try to give it up
Seems to be holding on fast
It's hand in your hand A shadow over your
A beggar for soul in your face
Still it don't matter
If you won't listen
If you won't let them follow you
You just need to heal
Make good all your lies
Move on and don't look behind
Day after day
Fickle visions
Messing with your head
Fickle vicious
Sleeping in your bed
Messing with your head
Fickle visions Fickle vicious…

What Do You Think??

Share your mind with us,
And please if there are other options I’ve missed let me know…because for me I couldn’t think of another thing…there are lots of details that you may think about, but we can put them all in all under those three titles:

what of the options below, you think is the closest?

Wind (hurricane) of change (a major regime change or even the regime behavior)

Sanctions to be adopted by the Security Council…tomorrow the 25 of oct…

Iraqi scenario to be repeated (considering many facts can lead to put this option on the roof)

Free polls from


for my surprise the result is 50% to both the first and the second options...hmm i didn't think that so many ppl will think that the regime will fall down...thanx to everyone who shared this with me...i'll discuss this in other post...not now cuz am not in mood for politics..

Monday, October 24, 2005

Eve's Diary Part2

Sunday: It is up there yet. Resting, apparently. But that is a subterfuge: Sunday isn't the day of rest; Saturday is appointed for that. It looks to me like that creature is more interested in resting than anything else. It would tire me to rest so much. It tires me just to sit around and watch the tree. I do wonder what it is for; I never see it do anything!!!They returned the moon last night, and I was SO happy! I think it is very generous of them. It slid down and fell off again, but I was not distressed; there is no need to worry when one has that kind of neighbors I do; they will fetch it back. I wish I could do something to show my appreciation. I would like to send them some stars, we do have more than we can use. I mean “I”, not “we”, cus I can see that the reptile gives a shit for stuff like these!! It has low tastes, and is not kind. When I went there yesterday evening in the gloaming it had crept down and was trying to catch the little fishes that play in the pool, and I had to clod it to make it go up the tree again and let them alone. I wonder if THAT is what it is for!! Doesn’t it have any heart? Hasn't it any compassion for those little creatures? Can it be that it was designed and manufactured for such ungentle work? It has the look of it. One of the clods took it back of the ear, and it used a language. It gave me a thrill, for it was the first time I had ever heard a speech, except my own of course. I did not understand the words, but they seemed expressive. When I found it could talk I felt a new interest in it, for I love to talk; I talk, all day, and in my sleep, too, and I am very interesting, but if I had another to talk to I could be twice as interesting, and would never stop, if desired. If this reptile is a man, it isn't an “IT”, is it? That wouldn't be grammatical, right? I think it would be “HE”. I think so. Well, I will consider it a man and call it “he” until it turns out to be something else. This will be handier than having so many doubts.

A Week After: All the week I tagged around after him and tried to get to know him better. I had to do the talking, because he was shy, but I didn't mind it. He seemed pleased to have me around, and I used the sociable "WE" a good deal, because it seemed to flatter him to be included.

Wednesday: We are getting along very well indeed, now, and getting better and better acquainted. He does not try to avoid me any more, which is a good sign, and shows that he likes to have me with him. That pleases me, and I study to be useful to him in every way I can, so as to increase his regard. During the last day or two I have taken all the work of naming things off his hands, and this has been a great relief to him, cus he has no gift in that line, and he’s very grateful. He can't think of a rational name to save him, but I do not let him see that I am aware of his defect. Whenever a new creature comes along I name it before he has time to expose himself by an awkward silence. In this way I have saved him many embarrassments. I have no defect like this. The minute I set eyes on an animal I know what it is. I don't have to reflect a moment; the right name comes out instantly, just as if it were an inspiration, no doubt it is, cus I am sure I didn’t know it half a minute before. I seem to know just by the shape of the creature and the way it acts, what animal it is. When the dodo came along he thought it was a wildcat, I saw it in his eye. But I saved him. And I was careful not to do it in a way that could hurt his pride. I just spoke up in a quite natural way of pleasing surprise, and not as if I was dreaming of conveying information, and said, "Well, I do declare, if there isn't the dodo!" I explained -without seeming to be explaining-how I know it for a dodo, and although I thought maybe he was a little annoyed that I knew the creature when he didn't, it was quite evident that he admired me. That was very agreeable, and I thought of him more than once with gratification before I slept. How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it! Thursday: my first sorrow!! Yesterday he avoided me and seemed to wish I would not talk to him. I could not believe it, and thought there was some mistake, I mean…I loved to be with him, and loved to hear him talk, and so how could it be that he could feel unkind toward me when I had not done anything? But at last it seemed true, so I went away and sat lonely in the place where I first saw him the morning that we were made and I did not know what he was and wasn’t concerned about him; but now it was a sad place, and every little think spoke of him, and my heart was very sore. I did not know why very clearly, it was a new feeling; I had not experienced it before, and it was all a mystery and I could not make it out. But when night came I could not bear the loneliness, and went to the new shelter which he has built, to ask him what I had done that was wrong and how I could mend it and get back his kindness again; but he put me out in the rain, and it was my first sorrow.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Eve's last!

Saturday: I am almost a whole day old, now. I arrived yesterday, that is as it seems to me. And it must be so, for if there was a day-before-yesterday I was not there when it happened, or I should remember it. It could be, of course, that it did happen, and that I was not noticing. Very well; I will be very watchful now, and if any day-before-yesterdays happen I will make a note of it. It will be best to start right and not let the record get confused, my instinct tells me that these details are going to be important to the historian some day. For I feel like an experiment, I feel exactly like an experiment; it would be impossible for a person to feel more like an experiment than I do, and so I am coming to feel convinced that that is what I AM--an experiment; just an experiment, and nothing more. Then if I am an experiment, am I the whole of it? No, I think not; I think the rest of it is a part of. I am the main part of it, but I think the rest of it has its share in the matter. Is my position assured, or do I have to watch it and take care of it? The latter, perhaps. Some instinct tells me that eternal vigilance is the price of supremacy. [That is a good phrase, I think, for one so young.] Everything looks better today than it did yesterday. In the rush of finishing up yesterday, the mountains were left in a ragged condition, and some of the plains were so cluttered with rubbish and remnants that the aspects were quite distressing. Noble and beautiful works of art should not be subjected to haste; and this majestic new world is indeed a most noble and beautiful work. And certainly marvelously near to being perfect, considering the shortness of the time. There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others, but that can be fixed presently, no doubt. The moon got loose last night, and slid down and fell out of the scheme… a very great loss; it breaks my heart to think of it. There isn't another thing among the ornaments and decorations that is comparable to it for beauty and finish. It should have been fastened better. If we can only get it back again!But of course there is no telling where it went to. And besides, whoever gets it will hide it; I know it because I would do it myself. I believe I can be honest in all other matters, but I already begin to realize that the core and center of my nature is love of the beautiful, a passion for the beautiful, and that it would not be safe to trust me with a moon that belonged to another person and that person didn't know I had it. I could give up a moon that I found in the daytime, because I should be afraid some one was looking; but if I found it in the dark, I am sure I should find some kind of an excuse for not saying anything about it. For I do love moons, they are so pretty and so romantic. I wish we had five or six; I would never go to bed; I should never get tired lying on the moss-bank and looking up at them. Stars are good, too. I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I suppose I will never... you would be surprised to find how far they are, because they look closer. When they first showed, last night, I tried to knock some down with a pole, but it didn't reach, which astonished me; then I tried clods till I was all tired out, but I never got one. It was because I am left-handed and cannot throw well. Even when I aimed at the one I wasn't after… I couldn't hit it, though I did make some close shots, cus I saw the black blot of the clod sail right into the midst of the golden clusters forty or fifty times, just barely missing them, and if I could have held out a little longer maybe I could have got one. So I cried a little, which was natural, I suppose, for one of my age, and after I rested I got a basket and started for a place on the extreme rim of the circle, where the stars were close to the ground and I could get them with my hands, which would be better, anyway, because I could gather them tenderly then, and not break them. But it was farther than I thought, and at last I had to give it up; I was so tired I couldn't drag my feet another step; and besides, they were sore and hurt me very much. I couldn't get back home; it was too far and turning cold; but I found some tigers and nestled in among them and were most adorably comfortable, and their breath was sweet and pleasant, because they live on strawberries. I had never seen a tiger before, but I knew them in a minute by the stripes.
Today I am getting better ideas about distances. I was so eager to get hold of every pretty thing that I giddily grabbed for it, sometimes when it was too far off, and sometimes when it was but six inches away but seemed a foot…alas!!, with thorns between! I learned a lesson; also I made an axiom, all out of my own head, my very first one; THE SCRATCHED EXPERIMENT SHUNS THE THORN. I think it is a very good one for one so young. I followed the other Experiment around, yesterday afternoon, at a distance, to see what it might be for, if I could. But I was not able to make out. I think it is a man. I had never seen a man before, but it looked like one, and I feel sure that is what it is. I realized that I feel more curiosity about it than about any of the other reptiles. If it is a reptile, and I suppose it is; for it has frowzy hair and blue eyes, and looks like a reptile. It has no hips; it tapers like a carrot; when it stands, it spreads itself apart like a derrick; so I think it is a reptile, though it may be architecture. I was afraid of it at first, and started to run every time it turned around, I thought it was going to chase me; but by and by I found it was only trying to get away, so after that I was not timid any more, but tracked it along, several hours, about twenty yards behind, which made it nervous and unhappy. At last it was a good deal worried, and climbed a tree. I waited a good while, then gave it up and went home. Today the same thing over... I've got it up the tree again.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Summer rain never brings spring!!

Summer rain is special...summer rain is something unusual ...BUT hello! Summer rain always comes at the wrong time… can't you see??!!
listen to all those BIG titles "Damascus’ spring...Beirut’s spring....Arabian spring”’s not a lie as usual this time...but if you’re smart enough you'll know it’s the spring that summer rain brings here...which is...NO's autumn if you wanna take it like this, all the decisions that are being made and all the promises that are being took are simply summer rain’'s always a summer rain in here...
I long for a real rain...the rain that will wipe all this dirt around...…and you know what they say about spring’s special natural perfumes, Well all I can smell is blood….and napalm….but I can smell anger within…. I can see those spring’s rivers but they’re red…
What kind of flowers you’re expecting after such rain?? Nothing but some bloody poisonous flowers…..
So they promise you spring ….and you sell your…everything…your country -the dearest-…your principles...your beliefs…and your soul….spring is worth it…
And suddenly your walking down the life of yours….and it’s raining…a very black heavy rain washes you from top to foot… goodbye to conscious…goodbye to fear….goodbye to your red pure heart welcome to your dark dirty one….
Don’t cry…you asked for a spring…you asked the wrong ppl unfortunately…. Why to cry anyway?? You don’t have to be afraid from this minute on…you don’t have a country to worry about…you’re conscious is dead, you’ve got nothing to lose ….and this is a very painful fact…TO GAIN YOU HAVE TO LOSE this is what life teaches you…but now you lost many things and gained nothing in return….because you are stupid….you are being cheated …you’re being hanged by your own hands…
And no matter how long you wait…..summer rain will never carry spring to you…
So t3eesh w takol 3’ayrha…dear citizen

Btw:it's been along time ha...but it's always my modem's fault...
i'll be back soon...with the rest of Mark Twain's, and the rest of my storm...