Thursday, July 31, 2008

Sweet Boredom

As usual, my relationship with this blog goes up and down
Explaining adds nothing, the little you read …the little you write…that’s right
Writing from this corner for the first time, new feelings …new places….faces…and the same messed up me.
Izo is standing over my shoulders watching me writing…ok…gonna be as simple as my life has been for the past few months, no surprise!
this city is changing definitely…lattakia, the poor Mediterranean sleepy forgotten lazy city and the very inspiring, though, one.
In a year…maybe less, things might change. Maybe new life…new city…or even new country.
In a year a whole new start.
At least that’s what I’d like to think.
Years pass really faster than hours…minutes, suddenly I’m a fifth year student!
The pessimistic me raises all the questions…exploring the options, and making pre-decisions.
I’ve been lucky this year, unique experiences, people, circumstances and a relief…the relief that only such laziness I’ve surrendered to would give.
Moments of thrill, passion highness and more…to end up with a conclusion, those moments of “joy” or “happiness” are few, and very short in time. Not that I’m being blackish again… it’s the simple truth, I can’t enjoy anything for more than seconds. Whose mistakes?! I don’t really care.
Only in my mind, I’ve traveled to all the places, figured new spheres, and made up a whole new life…facts.
But I’m still here, sitting to the same table at Izo’s coffee shop, writing my posts using the same laptop, and listening to the same music, drinking the same drink, smoking new White Marlboro. Surrounded by same faces…me…the one who gets bored fast enough…enjoying this repeated picture of reality!! Surprising myself, knowing this feeling won’t last …so just trying to embrace it…hold on to it for the longest time.
Appreciation is the lesson…appreciating people, time and the chance of watching my city becomes not mine.
Giving up that urge to detect mistakes here and there…opening up to all kinds of people.
It feels exactly like stretching your body…on a crowded lattakian beach…giving the sun a chance to reach each part of your weak body…every cell…melting…ready to be shaped into any image…any personality…
New starts freak everybody out. People tend to “appreciate the comforts of every day routine- the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition”. I like anybody, share the same feelings. With a little space inside, to unleash my own humble dreams. Knowing that time will come for a change…till then, I’m very proud of this feeling.

1 comment:

fiamma veneta said...

Ciao dall'Italia.
Visita il mio blog!