Bell's Palsy :(

Doctors said it's a virus……that found its way into my right facial nerve, leaving the right half of my face paralyzed…… they told me it's just a matter of time before I get better…..and I'm stuck in bed……surfing the net (thnx Sam 4 the laptop) …..reading the blogs…..not being able to comment on anything cus blogspot is banned in Syria. What's new? I mean it's ok…..really why are we just yelling and asking the whys'……??? We're just being weirdos asking such questions.
So while everyone is studying…I can't, while everyone is having wine…..I'm taking cortisone!
Staying in bed…..gave me the time to rethink over millions of stuff, million of people crossed my mind…… and my old ways ….the "take it easy" way…and the "see the bright side" way…..are not working…….
What happened to the human in us?! Whenever I think of the way I deal with people compared to this they deal with me….i get confused…..because it's not fair! I gave up on expecting things from people too long ago! But when I got sick……I've expected some "humanity" from those I care about…….and I decided that from this minute on…..i'll ask nothing from noone…..of course there are exceptions……but they're just few……
It's getting clearer for me…… clouds are evaporating little by little…..
Thanks to all who came over, those who called…..those who sent e-mails and messages…… and thanks mom, dad and sisters! Love ya all. I'm sorry for being an ass right now!
Sorry samar and samer for not answering!

Overrated Bullshit

Disconnection

So you let them in….they take places, and you become them…they become you, you recharge yourself, thinking there must be some place left here or there…..but! You wake up one day….find yourself naked of them all…. Because that was just your mind….creating the overrated concept of “eternal fucking friendships or relationships”.
Yes it must be overrated….because it’s not real….it’s just hallucinations.
And it’s all right, it’s completely fine, cus what matters now is the fact that you know what is it all about when it comes to relationships and all these crap.
I say crap, and I apologize to everyone who had one or more good thing going on under the name “relationship”….but give me a break!
It’s all about words all over again! I mean ….let’s say we’re living in a world where nobody knows what the word “friend” means…..or the word “hate” means….that would just change everything, I say…..let’s drop the words….let’s live it real……let’s be honest…..you’re nothing to me….why? because I don’t accept giving you names…..
I just wanna go for the “human” vocabularies. Just a human- fellow!
But why am I circling around “words and meanings”…..it’s all our fault, we – the current version of humans- just had the guts to destroy a whole set of meaningful words that took our grand grand parents years of creativity and meditation to come up with!
And I see the questions in the eyes of those who used to be titled in my life…..they don’t know what’s going on in my head….and to what level I got of bitterness to just say this!
And the problem is…..how can you explain if you don’t care enough…..and why would you care to explain if you don’t care enough…. Explanation deleted.
“why” is clear for those who knows….and only for those …. I do care, and they’re titled “human” for me.

Writing wordless!

I’ve been trying to write for as long as I can remember now (due to my fucked up short term memory that could be yesterday…..but never mind)…. first ….I thought I’m not able anymore……, I thought I have lost the will….the ideas, but then, and after sailing too deep into new oceans…….discovering new lands, and exploring everything, after a hand shake….after a song…..after a beautiful….or ugly scene……after waking……. I believe that it’s not the will….nor the ideas, it’s just “words”……they’re dead…….and my whole perspective of almost everything in life has changed.
Not gonna say I’m happier, because I’m not.
Not gonna pretend I’m all right, cus again….I’m not.
Not gonna say I’m in deep shit…..cus I’m not (now).
Nothing is different if I wanna put it in words, but as I said, words are dead this time, so if there’s a difference, words won’t be the way to explain it, and so….you won’t be able to tell, if there’s actually a difference or not!
It’s kinda weird, but I gotta cope with it, it’s new….it’s like a new language , that have been made only for me, and it’s me who’s gonna learn it from its own a to z , like when adam and eve had only a whole planet to explore.
Well, if I’m using images, connected to words, well, the word could mean anything, for each one who reads it, but….only me….because I connected them, will understand the word……
So I’m gonna drop some words, and if telepathically we connected, you’ll understand each and every word I’ll write:

Tishreen Univ. Lattakia. Syria. Pizza. Camel. Pink Floyd. Waking Life. Black. Dirt. Speed. Laziness. Papers. Walls. Q . Bob Dylan . Saad . Yellow. Terabyte. MCSE . Bed. Fiber. Archive. Final Cut. Stone . Beer. Yousef. Social Destruction. 730. Green . Yazan . Idleb . Fair . Syria. Roger . Wikipedia . Damien Rice . Marcil . Nadeem Mohsin . Led Zeppelin . Lighters . Lap-top . Family . $ . Delay . Tennis. 5th of Nov.
8pm . 7 . Syria . Borders . Mountains . CO2. Time. Beats . Rain . Dad.
End. Human. God. Jeans. ………….me.

Goobye blogspot!

Life can't get any aglier.....this country can't get any worse.......and I'm moving to this new blog , not sure when they will block it anyway!!!

Googlism Everybody!

I thinks the title-link speaks of it all!
Are we all "Googlists".....without even knowing it?!
what's with us? what's with the world?!
http://www.thechurchofgoogle.org

The Sun Is In tune but......

The sun is in tune, but the sun is eclipsed by the moon.


SO! inblogs.net is banned here as well......noway to access our blogs......I'm calling all the syrian bloggers who can reach their blogs to focus on this issue.....we're not able to access our blogs, not even using other sneaking ways! What the hell is goin on with you Syrians??!! '
Are we that dangerous?? i remember writing about my dad and how much i love him! Am i threatening the national security doing this???????????????????????????????????????????????

Words Of Madness

Everything that has a beginning has an end…..
We live to end….
“from The Matrix”

That’s relatively right, in the light of this beginning, I may start, not sure what end is waiting for me or what start fits the most….
The minute we’ve been given life…the minute we start dying.
Life and death, who has said they’re opposites !
Life and death the perfect match, nothing’s stronger….nothing’s more powerful…for they’re both, controlling us…
“Us” ……human beings…souls….parts of a greater soul.
It all begins with a scream….the scream that will become our
life-mate…….”HEEEEEELP!”
Because we’re weak, because we’re strong.
Because we don’t have the choice, and because we’re the only choice makers!
Because we’re blind ……and the light inside is killing us


The scream will always be there….it’s not yours….it’s the creator’s ….god’s screaming through you….god’s expecting you to help……god’s counting on you…
God’s …the light inside…the darkness outside.


So you’re growing up, exploring a set of strange things, watching blurry images, listening to some special sounds, smelling weird particles and walking endless roads….it’s the universe!
It’s the place you’re gonna spend a period of light they call “LIFE”
A bridge that connects two mysteries.
Don’t try to remember what lies before….for you’re limited.
Don’t try to predict the other side…for you’re limited.
You may have expectations, you may build images…they may give you hints…but remember you’re limited.
The bridge between is yours…it’s you, who you are, were and will or wanna be.


Crawling is all you can do…don’t run …cus you’re sure to fall.
The scream is humming still… your brain cells will try to embrace your scream…to hold it back…to train it.
The scream is never easy to be trained…you’re battle while crossing your own bridge…is this with your scream…
The more it’s louder …the more it’s clearer… the more you’re in peace.
The less you control it…the more you’re free.
Freedom is your aim… freedom shall always be your awaiting destiny.
And only when you’re going after your freedom, you’re actually free, because you’re not meant to be free…you only seek to be.

just a BIT late :D

i was just away for a while i guess....but now since i have sometime to write i guess i'll be writing a lot ..... if there's anybody out there who still wanna check my blog ....welcome......sorry for those who used to like this blog and gav up on the idea of reading new stuff on this damn blog.....but honestly..... i was dead!