For you… for the only person I’m sure he’ll be there to say “happy 60th birthday” for me if I made it through life….
For the person I get along with the most….and I contradict with at the same time, the person that I share with 90% of my memory since I began to see differences …since I became different…since we became different….
The only human being on earth and all the planets who I can call to come over and get bored together…. Hours of deep conversations….hours of water pipes…hours of saying nothing but complete bull-shit….hours of sharing silence …. Hours of wandering aimlessly through the city of ours! Hours of dreaming…..
For you….cus you became a fact in my life…like eye blinking….ur there in my life….standing still, no “moody storms” could change ur position….no life bricks ….no people’s lies …..no parents’ doubled faces ….nothing….not policy….nor our boy\girl friends can change us cus we’re a fact.
The extreme’s mate I’ll call u, my smoking mate, my drinking mate, water pipe mate, every single food u can think of –mate , scissors game’s craziness mate, msab7a mate (that goes under “food” but it’s too special …so u know!)
My – f*** all - phrase mate, my Fayrose- addiction mate…. My ‘ego’ mate….
For all the success we shared …for all the failure
For all the happy moments….and the worst ones….
For all the times we said nothing about us….for all the times I got frustrated when noticing that you’re the only thing am sure of in my life…..
People will never understand…people will never know …people will always be too far…but again “who cares!”
People will always think we’re “something” as they say…and yes we are something….at least we’re not nothings….we’re something they fear….we’re them but in the image they can never see in mirrors…. Cus again they fear it but deep inside they like it! They’ll always be jealous! They’ll always be there to eye us….to whisper about us….and we …hehehehe we give a shit!
For the dearest ever….for the all times mate….for you alloush …I do love you….it’s simple….it’s pure ! It’s 8 years so far…and many many years to come….. for my only and only best friend or whatever….. I do love you.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Friday, August 25, 2006
A Doomed Memory
It’s the story of dawn
A dawn that carried lights
Dawn was always her favorite part
Uniting with the silence
A black orchid that has grown
with misery replaced her delight
and she has said a farewell to her heart
for a blink…. She was lifeless
a freewill against centuries of dead-living laws
her freewill….and all of people’s lies
and so it was…. bloody Nazi scars
filled her arm…and her emptiness
what waits for her in the unknown
reflected in her dark eyes
too many ….too many tracks
all blur, and the end is limitless
Why on her arm she’s to mourn…
When her soul in the underworld flies
Writing down her tragedy with the stars
Knowing one thing….her pain is endless
Unscathed….to see her bones
And when the salty…crimson liquid dries
Her soul comes back….join her again…and she’s finally calm!
She’s in peace with her darkness
A dawn that carried lights
Dawn was always her favorite part
Uniting with the silence
A black orchid that has grown
with misery replaced her delight
and she has said a farewell to her heart
for a blink…. She was lifeless
a freewill against centuries of dead-living laws
her freewill….and all of people’s lies
and so it was…. bloody Nazi scars
filled her arm…and her emptiness
what waits for her in the unknown
reflected in her dark eyes
too many ….too many tracks
all blur, and the end is limitless
Why on her arm she’s to mourn…
When her soul in the underworld flies
Writing down her tragedy with the stars
Knowing one thing….her pain is endless
Unscathed….to see her bones
And when the salty…crimson liquid dries
Her soul comes back….join her again…and she’s finally calm!
She’s in peace with her darkness
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Men Of My Life- The First
For you….the first man in my life… first love…. First male in my life
You were the beginning …
I’m here because of you and your way I walk …
You are my blood…you are my ideal
I became me just because you were you…not anyone else on this planet…
And you people…he “first man in my life” loves you more than u can imagine….more than you deserve … and I was so lucky!
I was lucky cus simply he loves me more….
You “people” were his obsession,
letting some light in was his dream…
making some changes was his goal….
awaking you was what he worked so hard on…
And only for you he suffered,
and all of you …after all he did for you…
all of you called him an “idiot” …yes…
you think everyone who’s not self-centered is an idiot nowadays..
And he was stupid why? Because he refused to be a sheep …
he didn’t want to be like you, and not only that he was trying to make you believe that all of you must refuse this too…
he had to give up on you, when he finally was convinced that you’re sleeping till the end of time.
he couldn’t give anymore….he gave another “disaster” to this world …just an idiot like himself…he gave birth to me……
for you daddy…cus I wanna be an idiot like ppl once called you….
if this is what it takes me to be like you….
I love you
I thank you for making the right choice at the right time….you’re my creator…my only real home…
I’m in love with your dark side just as I love your pure-deep side....
I love the father ….the repel… the human… the giver… the founder… the prisoner… the writer… the hopeful... the pessimistic… the loser the winner…the fat.... the blonde you.
I feel like I have limitless power to face everyone cus I know ur right behind me…. Giving me faith…. Lighten some sides that I’m not able yet to see…. Giving me the free will… asking me to set myself free…to adore my free will….to spread this free will around…..
Dad….I do love you.
You were the beginning …
I’m here because of you and your way I walk …
You are my blood…you are my ideal
I became me just because you were you…not anyone else on this planet…
And you people…he “first man in my life” loves you more than u can imagine….more than you deserve … and I was so lucky!
I was lucky cus simply he loves me more….
You “people” were his obsession,
letting some light in was his dream…
making some changes was his goal….
awaking you was what he worked so hard on…
And only for you he suffered,
and all of you …after all he did for you…
all of you called him an “idiot” …yes…
you think everyone who’s not self-centered is an idiot nowadays..
And he was stupid why? Because he refused to be a sheep …
he didn’t want to be like you, and not only that he was trying to make you believe that all of you must refuse this too…
he had to give up on you, when he finally was convinced that you’re sleeping till the end of time.
he couldn’t give anymore….he gave another “disaster” to this world …just an idiot like himself…he gave birth to me……
for you daddy…cus I wanna be an idiot like ppl once called you….
if this is what it takes me to be like you….
I love you
I thank you for making the right choice at the right time….you’re my creator…my only real home…
I’m in love with your dark side just as I love your pure-deep side....
I love the father ….the repel… the human… the giver… the founder… the prisoner… the writer… the hopeful... the pessimistic… the loser the winner…the fat.... the blonde you.
I feel like I have limitless power to face everyone cus I know ur right behind me…. Giving me faith…. Lighten some sides that I’m not able yet to see…. Giving me the free will… asking me to set myself free…to adore my free will….to spread this free will around…..
Dad….I do love you.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Ziad...ba3dna taybeen 2ollo allah
بالجنوب في ضيعة اسما الخيام...و بالخيام في مدرسة...و بالمدرسة في ألف و ستمية شخص بالحنوب اليوم في برد
و البرد في سقعة، و بالسقعة في مرض من كترة السقعة و بآخر المرض من كترة السقعة في موت إذا ما في مستشفى، و إذا في مستشفى لازم يكون في طبيب، بالجنوب في ضيعة اسما الخيام فيها برد و سقعة و فيها مدرسة فيها ألف و ستمية شخص من الخيام ما عندون بيوت بالخيام، مش ضروري كل واحد من الخيام يكون عندو بيت، فتحوا المدرسة و قعدوا فيها ....ألف و ستمية شخص كانوا قاعدين بالنبعة و برج حمّود و تل زعتر تيشتغلوا ببيروت، من تلاتين سنة هشلوا من الخيام عبيروت و اليوم رجعوا هشلوا من بيروت ع الخيام ، مش هنّي وحدون هشلوا، في ناس عم يهشّلوون و عم يهشّلوون لإلون هنّي ذاتون ....في عصابة الها فروع بكلّ لبنان عم بتهشّلون لإلون هنّي ذاتون ...لاحقتون عالدعسة من مطرح لمطرح مش قادرين يخلصوا منها، بيخلصوا من واحد بيطلعلون واحد تاني، إذا ما طلعلون أكتر من واحد تاني
أول مرّة هشلوا صار اسمون كادحين ، تاني مرّة هشلوا صار اسمون مهجّرين، و بالخيام في مدرسة و فيها ألف و ستمية شخص كادحين و مهجّرين و قاعدين بالصفوف ، و بي و أم وولادون و الجد و القرايب قاعدين بفرد صفّ، لا معون لا زوّادة لا مطواقية لا بطانية و لا كتب و لا دفاتر مجلّدة، ما في استاذ بالمدرسة في برد، و البرد في سقعة.
من زمان ما صرلون يفوتو ع المدرسة و اليوم صرلون بس ما في مين يعلّمون لكن عم يتعلّموا وحدون ....عم يتعلّموا كتير اشيا ، موزّعين بالصفوف كيف ما كان، رجّال عمرو أربعين سنة هوي و عمّو و مرت عمّو مساقبين بصفّ السيرتيفيكا، و بنت عمرا حداعشر سني بيها قتل بالنبعة قاعدة بصفّ البكالوريا......
بالمدرسة بالخيام ما بتفرق الواحد بأي صف صار ، كلّون كبار و صغار معون الشهادة ذاتها، كادحين و مهجّرين .... عاملين ثانوية و تكميلية .... مخلصين كلّ المراحل.... ناجحين بكلّ الصفوف.... معون اختصاص بالتعتير و عم بتشتي الدني بالخيام لأنو بلّش الشتي، بالمدرسة بالخيام في ألف و ستمية شخص و في بَي قاعد هوي و ابنو ع بنك بفرد صفّ، و طالما البَي بيقللوا لابنو يا بيي و الابن بيقللوا لبيو يا بيي صاروا غ فرد بنك و صاروا بفرد صفّ...صاروا بفرد جوع بفرد برد و شتي...بفرد الله و وطن و عيلي و في لوح قدّامون.....
البَي عم يحكي و الصبي عم يكتب ع اللوح، قلّوا يا بيي اكتب تقلّك: كل الدني ضدّنا مش بس اسرائيل، اسرائيل بتعمل غارات علينا...اسرائيل ضدّنا، و البيك بالزمانات كان ضدّنا، حاولنا نتعلّم لغة جديدة...حاولنا نفكّر بغير طريقة، كان لازم نشاورو للبيك...ما شاورناه صار ضدّنا، كان بيسوى نعمل زلمو للبيك ما عملنا و هشلنا ع بيروت، وقت أحمد الأسعد يا بيي هشلنا ع بيروت...كان دور بيروت وقتها، و اليوم اجا كامل الأسعد، رجعنا هشلنا ع الخيام...اجا دور الخيام، و كلّ الدني ضدّنا قيّد.....الطقس ضدّنا و البرد ضدّنا و عم بتشتّي الدني ضدّنا، كفرنا اكتر من مرّة قيّد، كفرنا...و طلعوا رجال الله يقولولنا الجنة و النار يا ولادي، و فال النار معنا و الجنة ضدّنا، يعني الله ضدّنا لأنو مش لازم الإنسان يكفر لو شو ما صار....ايدك مش رح تتعب قد ما نحنا تعبنا قيّد...لأنو بعد بدّي قلّك مين في معنا، في معنا يا بيي، كل القصايد الحزينة و الشعر قصايد كلّها عنّي و عنّك و هاي معنا قيّد، في معنا مليون خطاب عن الجنوب، إذا وزّعوون بيطلع للخيام وحدها شي ميّة ألف خطاب، و إذا وزّعوون ع أهل الخيام بيطلعلي أنا ويّاك شي اربعمية خمسمية خطاب بيكفّونا أنا ويّاك و أمك و أخواتك و بالزيادة، يعني إذا ولّعناهون كلّون بيدفّونا ليلة، في معنا مشاريع...مشاريع كتيرة كلّها لتعمير الجنوب...و الخيام بالجنوب...إذاً هيدي المشلريع معنا...
في معنا خطب الجمعة بكل المساجد...ووعظات الأحد بكلّ الكنايس...معنا كلّ الناس الحزنانين علينا و بس يتذكّروا الجنوب بيتأثّروا...و في كتير منون هالناس، قيّد معنا المهرجانات الحماسية بكلّ السينامات ببيروت...معنا ندوات و صور و إعلانات عن الجنوب...ما معنا بطانية معليش...معنا كلّ الأحزاب التقدميّة و الاشتراكيّة بالعالم عم يدعمونا، قيّد يا بيي ، معنا كل شي في شولرع و ضيَع...ننزل ندور و نشحد فيها رغيف خبز و معنا اجرينا فينا نمشي... و معنا توصيات بالصمود قدّام الإغراءات الاسرائيلية...و لازم نصمد انت بتعرف....بعدين معنا مهلة، معنا وقت كافي تنشوف قديش فينا نضاين بالبرد و بالسقعة و بالجوع، معنا ألف كتاب للصلا تنصلّي و نروح عالجنة....
كلّ هودي معنا و عم بتموت يا بيي؟! ليش عم بتموت؟! غريب انتا و غريب أمرك! طيّب شو بعد بدّك؟؟! في قدّامك هاللوح و مية لوح و المدرسة كلّها لالك...اكتب شو بدّك...ليش عم بتموت؟! ليش عم بتموت مش مفروض تموت...
و البرد في سقعة، و بالسقعة في مرض من كترة السقعة و بآخر المرض من كترة السقعة في موت إذا ما في مستشفى، و إذا في مستشفى لازم يكون في طبيب، بالجنوب في ضيعة اسما الخيام فيها برد و سقعة و فيها مدرسة فيها ألف و ستمية شخص من الخيام ما عندون بيوت بالخيام، مش ضروري كل واحد من الخيام يكون عندو بيت، فتحوا المدرسة و قعدوا فيها ....ألف و ستمية شخص كانوا قاعدين بالنبعة و برج حمّود و تل زعتر تيشتغلوا ببيروت، من تلاتين سنة هشلوا من الخيام عبيروت و اليوم رجعوا هشلوا من بيروت ع الخيام ، مش هنّي وحدون هشلوا، في ناس عم يهشّلوون و عم يهشّلوون لإلون هنّي ذاتون ....في عصابة الها فروع بكلّ لبنان عم بتهشّلون لإلون هنّي ذاتون ...لاحقتون عالدعسة من مطرح لمطرح مش قادرين يخلصوا منها، بيخلصوا من واحد بيطلعلون واحد تاني، إذا ما طلعلون أكتر من واحد تاني
أول مرّة هشلوا صار اسمون كادحين ، تاني مرّة هشلوا صار اسمون مهجّرين، و بالخيام في مدرسة و فيها ألف و ستمية شخص كادحين و مهجّرين و قاعدين بالصفوف ، و بي و أم وولادون و الجد و القرايب قاعدين بفرد صفّ، لا معون لا زوّادة لا مطواقية لا بطانية و لا كتب و لا دفاتر مجلّدة، ما في استاذ بالمدرسة في برد، و البرد في سقعة.
من زمان ما صرلون يفوتو ع المدرسة و اليوم صرلون بس ما في مين يعلّمون لكن عم يتعلّموا وحدون ....عم يتعلّموا كتير اشيا ، موزّعين بالصفوف كيف ما كان، رجّال عمرو أربعين سنة هوي و عمّو و مرت عمّو مساقبين بصفّ السيرتيفيكا، و بنت عمرا حداعشر سني بيها قتل بالنبعة قاعدة بصفّ البكالوريا......
بالمدرسة بالخيام ما بتفرق الواحد بأي صف صار ، كلّون كبار و صغار معون الشهادة ذاتها، كادحين و مهجّرين .... عاملين ثانوية و تكميلية .... مخلصين كلّ المراحل.... ناجحين بكلّ الصفوف.... معون اختصاص بالتعتير و عم بتشتي الدني بالخيام لأنو بلّش الشتي، بالمدرسة بالخيام في ألف و ستمية شخص و في بَي قاعد هوي و ابنو ع بنك بفرد صفّ، و طالما البَي بيقللوا لابنو يا بيي و الابن بيقللوا لبيو يا بيي صاروا غ فرد بنك و صاروا بفرد صفّ...صاروا بفرد جوع بفرد برد و شتي...بفرد الله و وطن و عيلي و في لوح قدّامون.....
البَي عم يحكي و الصبي عم يكتب ع اللوح، قلّوا يا بيي اكتب تقلّك: كل الدني ضدّنا مش بس اسرائيل، اسرائيل بتعمل غارات علينا...اسرائيل ضدّنا، و البيك بالزمانات كان ضدّنا، حاولنا نتعلّم لغة جديدة...حاولنا نفكّر بغير طريقة، كان لازم نشاورو للبيك...ما شاورناه صار ضدّنا، كان بيسوى نعمل زلمو للبيك ما عملنا و هشلنا ع بيروت، وقت أحمد الأسعد يا بيي هشلنا ع بيروت...كان دور بيروت وقتها، و اليوم اجا كامل الأسعد، رجعنا هشلنا ع الخيام...اجا دور الخيام، و كلّ الدني ضدّنا قيّد.....الطقس ضدّنا و البرد ضدّنا و عم بتشتّي الدني ضدّنا، كفرنا اكتر من مرّة قيّد، كفرنا...و طلعوا رجال الله يقولولنا الجنة و النار يا ولادي، و فال النار معنا و الجنة ضدّنا، يعني الله ضدّنا لأنو مش لازم الإنسان يكفر لو شو ما صار....ايدك مش رح تتعب قد ما نحنا تعبنا قيّد...لأنو بعد بدّي قلّك مين في معنا، في معنا يا بيي، كل القصايد الحزينة و الشعر قصايد كلّها عنّي و عنّك و هاي معنا قيّد، في معنا مليون خطاب عن الجنوب، إذا وزّعوون بيطلع للخيام وحدها شي ميّة ألف خطاب، و إذا وزّعوون ع أهل الخيام بيطلعلي أنا ويّاك شي اربعمية خمسمية خطاب بيكفّونا أنا ويّاك و أمك و أخواتك و بالزيادة، يعني إذا ولّعناهون كلّون بيدفّونا ليلة، في معنا مشاريع...مشاريع كتيرة كلّها لتعمير الجنوب...و الخيام بالجنوب...إذاً هيدي المشلريع معنا...
في معنا خطب الجمعة بكل المساجد...ووعظات الأحد بكلّ الكنايس...معنا كلّ الناس الحزنانين علينا و بس يتذكّروا الجنوب بيتأثّروا...و في كتير منون هالناس، قيّد معنا المهرجانات الحماسية بكلّ السينامات ببيروت...معنا ندوات و صور و إعلانات عن الجنوب...ما معنا بطانية معليش...معنا كلّ الأحزاب التقدميّة و الاشتراكيّة بالعالم عم يدعمونا، قيّد يا بيي ، معنا كل شي في شولرع و ضيَع...ننزل ندور و نشحد فيها رغيف خبز و معنا اجرينا فينا نمشي... و معنا توصيات بالصمود قدّام الإغراءات الاسرائيلية...و لازم نصمد انت بتعرف....بعدين معنا مهلة، معنا وقت كافي تنشوف قديش فينا نضاين بالبرد و بالسقعة و بالجوع، معنا ألف كتاب للصلا تنصلّي و نروح عالجنة....
كلّ هودي معنا و عم بتموت يا بيي؟! ليش عم بتموت؟! غريب انتا و غريب أمرك! طيّب شو بعد بدّك؟؟! في قدّامك هاللوح و مية لوح و المدرسة كلّها لالك...اكتب شو بدّك...ليش عم بتموت؟! ليش عم بتموت مش مفروض تموت...
Saturday, July 15, 2006
What About People???!!!!
What about human beings you idiots…… what about the thousands of thousands of people who died and are dying right now?
What about us?
What becomes of me…..what becomes of you?
Is there a place for us in your mind… next to weapons next to blood…next to greed …next to racism …? Is there a place for me?
Is there a place for your own children?
A place for my children meeting yours someday….?
And you holy land…orphaned land….
What have we done to you…..what have we done????????
We became the worst version of human beings….living in the “dirt age”
What’s the WORD in such situation guys? What’s the right FEELING? What’s the right thing to do…..? Does “right” matter anyway? Who can say this is right n this is wrong now…
Whose fault is it? Who’s to blame?
Which voice I should call up from my deep inner silence?
The voice of human says “no more killing….no MORE KILLING”…and it’s killing me, the voice of logic says “it’s now or later…..it’s Lebanon or Syria or…….it’s Hezbollah or whatever the name was…. It’s us and them all over again…. it’s the ever lasting story of the evil and the good….”
And I ….in the middle of this battle….stand and think….. What peace are we talking about? The history is clear….the history is full of lies but it’s pure …. It’s not our land anymore…. Fighting is not our game anymore…. Peace is not a choice anymore …
War is a hell ….The world is a bigger hell…. We are to an end…. We are to an end
What about us?
What becomes of me…..what becomes of you?
Is there a place for us in your mind… next to weapons next to blood…next to greed …next to racism …? Is there a place for me?
Is there a place for your own children?
A place for my children meeting yours someday….?
And you holy land…orphaned land….
What have we done to you…..what have we done????????
We became the worst version of human beings….living in the “dirt age”
What’s the WORD in such situation guys? What’s the right FEELING? What’s the right thing to do…..? Does “right” matter anyway? Who can say this is right n this is wrong now…
Whose fault is it? Who’s to blame?
Which voice I should call up from my deep inner silence?
The voice of human says “no more killing….no MORE KILLING”…and it’s killing me, the voice of logic says “it’s now or later…..it’s Lebanon or Syria or…….it’s Hezbollah or whatever the name was…. It’s us and them all over again…. it’s the ever lasting story of the evil and the good….”
And I ….in the middle of this battle….stand and think….. What peace are we talking about? The history is clear….the history is full of lies but it’s pure …. It’s not our land anymore…. Fighting is not our game anymore…. Peace is not a choice anymore …
War is a hell ….The world is a bigger hell…. We are to an end…. We are to an end
Friday, June 16, 2006
MUTE
the place where rehearsals are held(don't try to know where it is...)
Amer on base guitar, and he's so in control of this instrument, but i guess u need some new wires for the amplifier dude....
Ziad's always taking their breathe out...the thrill of playing his additions to a song makes him go where his friends can't but yell "hey man ....." and they all smile and play their own way...each one his own way and all in all Mute's way
Ali' on his ....hmm yeh drums
so tell me....what do u think of this huge drums?
Ziad &Amer
Mute with Damdom
Amer on base guitar, and he's so in control of this instrument, but i guess u need some new wires for the amplifier dude....
Ziad's always taking their breathe out...the thrill of playing his additions to a song makes him go where his friends can't but yell "hey man ....." and they all smile and play their own way...each one his own way and all in all Mute's way
Ali' on his ....hmm yeh drums
so tell me....what do u think of this huge drums?
Ziad &Amer
Mute with Damdom
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
MUTE
(me with Amer, Ziad and Ali)
Wordless I find myself…speechless…
What does it mean to have freewill?
What does it take you to prove, that you’re freewill is really free…
Answers: 1- to have freewill is to form a hard rock\ heavy metal (sometimes), in a city where Ali Aldeek is considered an artist… in a city where you can’t find more than few people who actually listen to real metal…
2- It takes you a hundred Syrian pounds per a month!
Few almost wireless instruments, and the spirit of three talented\hard working guys that lights the dark place, and make the weirdest place in the world where a band can actually practice, seems beautiful on Thursdays…
So as a result…
Mute, the first officially lattakian rock band (as far as I know), have seen the light…
And of course the crazy me who always gets into everything related to music, simply became a friend of the band’s members, after we met at the bus stop :D
Mute was formed two years ago, Sami Zreik “drummer” started the band with Ali Khalil and Maya Mamish on vocals, and of course the very …I’ll call him “yet to be greatest Syrian guitarist” Ziad Khalil… my fave Syrian guitarist…and Mayson on keyboard
After a while Amer Kena’an joined on buss guitar, to complete the first line up, the rehearsing used to take place at the music room at Tishreen University (which after a very short while was closed…because no body benefits of it…and u know how does it work in our country..)
With Maya’s deep voice, the band was ready to perform for the first time in some local restaurant in lattakia, playing some famous cover songs, it was very good as a beginning, and Maya’s voice was awesome!
This was the schedule (don’t remember the right order):
Zombie –the cranberries
Don’t You Cry – Guns N Roses
Creep – Radiohead
Knocking on Heaven’s Door
Gone With the Sin – HIM
Another Brick in the Wall2- Pink Floyd
Come as You Are
The crowd was simply…not a crowd!! Few ppl heard of this concert, so few ppl went, but the reaction was amazing everybody loved the band, and now everyone was waiting to hear from them soon.
But Maya didn’t continue “I don’t know why?” and the lattakian first rock festival was knocking on the doors, and the band was listed in… so a guest vocalist took Maya’s place “unfortunately!” and then was the concert…good concert in general, expect for the vocalist (I delete my first view on the whole concert), at first sight we were thrilled cus you know…lattakian ppl are dying for live shows, and this was the first, so we didn’t really listen! We were actually singing…anyway…we were drunk even by the bad vocalist, cus everything else seemed perfect…
Now that Mayson and Sami left the country for studying, the band is basically keyboardless, and Ali Khalil is the current drummer… but the three of them are on a kind of side-project with another two members of Slumpark Correctional, a hard working thrash metal band from this dead city. I can’t say it’s a side-project, cus Ali is the vocalist in spc, and mute’s members are all spc’s at the same time! Why not…. Due to the lack of talents in lattakia, we’ll have 10 bands with Ziad, Amer and Ali in! as Ziad once said ; )
No matter what I say …I can’t give the “tiny drums” its right…no matter what I say I can’t reflex how it really feels to listen to them practicing… no matter what I say I can’t give them their rights: Take ur hats off for this band guys… they’re –surely- a very unique Syrian band…and we’ll always be proud of you dear friends…
I had some chat with the guys n I asked them few questions:
1- influences:
Amer Kana’an : John Linon, Savatage, Yngwie Malmsteen.
Ziad Khalil: Chris Oliver –Savatage
Ali Khalil: Savatage, (as for vocals- Soulfly’s vocalist “sorry Ali I’m so stupid to remember n I forgot his name”)
2- how do u see the metal scene?
Ziad: good…normal
Ali: Sucks!
Me ( :D) : Sucks…but with u guys in…it’s gonna get better I hope.
Finally I have to mention, that all of the three guys are self-educated musicians. Beware they’re preparing for something…
Till next time…Metal Lives…(more pix to be added soon...as soon as i finish exams....i know that i've abandoned this dear blog for a real while...but i guess i'm coming back...)
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Untitled...
Friedrich Nietzsche, how hard it is to write such a name?! well it’s no easier trying to understand this weird- special philosopher, you look around and you just feel “ yeh…that man was right!”, he’s said to be the core of Nazi’s racism theory, but what I got my hands on has nothing to do with racism or politics, it’s religious actually, starting with a simple quote (God is Dead) from his book ( The Gay Science).
Nietzsche wasn’t that simple dropping words just by chances of course, did he mean that Jesus was dead? Nah, not Nietzsche’s style, he didn’t mean that god is dead anyway, he was just giving the honest description of God in people’s hearts nowadays, he’s killed by science and rationalism – as he tends to explain- , he’s aiming one thing, once people accept the “God Is Dead” quote, we’ll have to set new values, more flexible, more up to date morals, and remove all the accepted standards. I just want to mention this is how I thought about this quote, and it doesn’t mean I believe in this, it’s another attempt to enlarge one’s view on another thoughts and beliefs, so here’s the whole story:
Have you not heard of that madman who lit a lantern in the bright morning hours, ran to the market-place, and cried incessantly: "I am looking for God! I am looking for God!" As many of those who did not believe in God were standing together there, he excited considerable laughter. Have you lost him, then? Said one. Did he lose his way like a child? said another. Or is he hiding? Is he afraid of us? Has he gone on a voyage? or emigrated? Thus they shouted and laughed. The madman sprang into their midst and pierced them with his glances. "Where has God gone?" he cried. "I shall tell you. We have killed him - you and I. We are his murderers. But how have we done this? How were we able to drink up the sea? Who gave us the sponge to wipe away the entire horizon? What did we do when we unchained the earth from its sun? Whither is it moving now? Whither are we moving now? Away from all suns? Are we not perpetually falling? Backward, sideward, forward, in all directions? Is there any up or down left? Are we not straying as through an infinite nothing? Do we not feel the breath of empty space? Has it not become colder? Is it not more and more night coming on all the time? Must not lanterns be lit in the morning? Do we not hear anything yet of the noise of the gravediggers who are burying God? Do we not smell anything yet of God's decomposition? Gods too decompose. God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we, murderers of all murderers, console ourselves? That which was the holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet possessed has bled to death under our knives. Who will wipe this blood off us? With what water could we purify ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we not ourselves become gods simply to be worthy of it? There has never been a greater deed; and whosoever shall be born after us - for the sake of this deed he shall be part of a higher history than all history hitherto." Here the madman fell silent and again regarded his listeners; and they too were silent and stared at him in astonishment. At last he threw his lantern to the ground, and it broke and went out. "I have come too early," he said then; "my time has not come yet. The tremendous event is still on its way, still traveling - it has not yet reached the ears of men. Lightning and thunder require time, the light of the stars requires time, deeds require time even after they are done, before they can be seen and heard. This deed is still more distant from them than the distant stars - and yet they have done it themselves." It has been further related that on that same day the madman entered divers churches and there sang a requiem. Led out and quietened, he is said to have retorted each time: "what are these churches now if they are not the tombs and sepulchers of God?"
Nietzsche wasn’t that simple dropping words just by chances of course, did he mean that Jesus was dead? Nah, not Nietzsche’s style, he didn’t mean that god is dead anyway, he was just giving the honest description of God in people’s hearts nowadays, he’s killed by science and rationalism – as he tends to explain- , he’s aiming one thing, once people accept the “God Is Dead” quote, we’ll have to set new values, more flexible, more up to date morals, and remove all the accepted standards. I just want to mention this is how I thought about this quote, and it doesn’t mean I believe in this, it’s another attempt to enlarge one’s view on another thoughts and beliefs, so here’s the whole story:
Have you not heard of that madman who lit a lantern in the bright morning hours, ran to the market-place, and cried incessantly: "I am looking for God! I am looking for God!" As many of those who did not believe in God were standing together there, he excited considerable laughter. Have you lost him, then? Said one. Did he lose his way like a child? said another. Or is he hiding? Is he afraid of us? Has he gone on a voyage? or emigrated? Thus they shouted and laughed. The madman sprang into their midst and pierced them with his glances. "Where has God gone?" he cried. "I shall tell you. We have killed him - you and I. We are his murderers. But how have we done this? How were we able to drink up the sea? Who gave us the sponge to wipe away the entire horizon? What did we do when we unchained the earth from its sun? Whither is it moving now? Whither are we moving now? Away from all suns? Are we not perpetually falling? Backward, sideward, forward, in all directions? Is there any up or down left? Are we not straying as through an infinite nothing? Do we not feel the breath of empty space? Has it not become colder? Is it not more and more night coming on all the time? Must not lanterns be lit in the morning? Do we not hear anything yet of the noise of the gravediggers who are burying God? Do we not smell anything yet of God's decomposition? Gods too decompose. God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we, murderers of all murderers, console ourselves? That which was the holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet possessed has bled to death under our knives. Who will wipe this blood off us? With what water could we purify ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we not ourselves become gods simply to be worthy of it? There has never been a greater deed; and whosoever shall be born after us - for the sake of this deed he shall be part of a higher history than all history hitherto." Here the madman fell silent and again regarded his listeners; and they too were silent and stared at him in astonishment. At last he threw his lantern to the ground, and it broke and went out. "I have come too early," he said then; "my time has not come yet. The tremendous event is still on its way, still traveling - it has not yet reached the ears of men. Lightning and thunder require time, the light of the stars requires time, deeds require time even after they are done, before they can be seen and heard. This deed is still more distant from them than the distant stars - and yet they have done it themselves." It has been further related that on that same day the madman entered divers churches and there sang a requiem. Led out and quietened, he is said to have retorted each time: "what are these churches now if they are not the tombs and sepulchers of God?"
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Belated Solidarity
I’m back, it took me couple of days to explore the big changes at the Syrian bloggers’ blogs, and I must say that I missed a lot, too much have been said, big efforts have been done to clarify what a real Syrian person would have reacted like, in the last couple of months. It was really comforting to know that too many people still have a mind in there, sorry that I didn’t have the chance to share all of these, but I got the new modem just two days ago, the last one is dead (bless thy), and I can say I wasn’t in mood for writing (still in the same mood!) but I felt it’s my duty as a Syrian person above all, and as a blogger to join my voice to you guys, but I have a problem understanding the whole issue; I’ve seen the cartoons, they’re just crap, but still they expressed somebody’s vision! So what?! We go and sue the whole country for that! Remember when Mhlis report took place, we were asking the whole world not to judge a whole country for some punch of lunatics’ mistake, can’t we speared our perspectives a little? Aren’t we contradicting our own words in this situation? Viva freedom, but when it’s everybody’s right! Not only given to certain people, go to the streets yell the hell out of your lungs it’s your right, but that’s when freedom stops, yeh freedom must be limited, cus otherwise people will miss the point and start becoming so aggressive under the word (freedom of expression), especially when they’re new to the whole thing (the freedom word). When Mel Gibson’s film (Passion Of The Christ) was banned in more than 2000 cinemas in USA (the freedom guardian angel), because the Zionists lobby found it too anti-Semite, wasn’t it against what they like to call expression freedom?! I don’t know what are we doing?? Everything seems so messed up and not fitting in its place… Still it’s unquestionable that it was shame to react like animals, don’t they (those so called conservative Muslims) say that the prophet’s image can’t be affected by whatever! Do these cartoons really abuse the prophet’s place in your hearts?? You’re maybe not sure about this even! If you wanna go for a restaurant with more than 7 people, you need permission; still they burnt the Danish embassy with cold blooded hearts while being watched by our great police, and after a while, we listen to the government’s apologies about this! Bullshit! Holey crap… I have to admit that I was moved by the Syrian bloggers’ reaction, and I’m proud to be one of you…peace in… |
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
In Progress...
I’ll start it with Anathema’s Fragile Dreams lyrics:
Today I introduced myself to my own feelings…
In silent agony, after all these years…
They spoke to me, after all these years…
(Note: yesterday is some blurry moments from the past and not particularly yesterday or few days before, and so today is not the future…it’s the current minute…)
Yesterday:
People: I really gave much…took much, cared for much, get involved much, loved much, and wrapped myself to people much, lost many, gained few.
Music: alternative, soft rock, blues, and jazz, some Arabic…
Started guitar lessons…thinking “I’ll be playing these French oldies and my Bryan Adams’ favorites and fayrouze…”
Studying: books’ wormy…
Coffee shops: cherries waterpipe (argheleh) with any kind of coca, diet 7up most of the time…
Clothing: anything that fits me, because I was like 10 kg heavier :D
Parents: really didn’t like them…
Religions: drifted…not getting myself into anywhere asking the questions I couldn’t find their answers at the time…
Policy: protest!!!
Me: confused, killed some inner beasts and fought with some others…bought many smiles…
Eating: ate much much; and I reckon MUCH…of everything…
Today:
People: Numb as I’ve never been before when dealing with ppl no matter how close they used to be, but I’m relieved as I’ve never been…
Cut off the wires that connected me with ppl and prevented me from being in complete peace with myself.
Music: hard rock, metal (Doom, Gothic, Symphonic, Progressive, Black)… reduced my Arabic albums to end up having only Fayrouz’s and Ziad’s and Maghda’s albums. Bye bye bryan adams and oldies, (I’m now dreaming of playing Tarrega’s and Segovia’s and Bach’s great pieces, and thinking “it’s easy now to play electric…let’s give it a try!”), some jazz…
Studying: what??!! Say “studying” in front of me three times and I’m dead! cuz it’s not fair! Wallhi it’s not fair, I mean by what means, I took 24\30 in my programming practical exam, and I haven’t study a shit?? And my friend who helped me getting some points 5 minutes before we get the papers, only had 17!! This is ironic…no more studying! (I didn’t use any indirect ways I swear... ;))…so what do you think?
Coffee shops: grapes’ waterpipe, and only Orange coca…
Clothing: I can wear whatever…lost 10kgs of my extra 14kgs, I’m proud of this! I mean this is an achievement, this is a sign that when I will to do something, it’s done for sure, I can do whatever, I just need to will…
I’m into black stuff more…I like silver accessories.
Parents: proud of them as individuals, thy finally understood the independence I seek in our relation and they’re respecting this, but they drop some advices from time to time, which I appreciate.
Religions: My Humanity First…now and for good…
Policy: “membership means nothing” I’m not baathi…just because a paper says so… I believe in the “Great Syria” concept but I’m not a Syrian Nationalist …, I believe we must separate religion from policy but I’m not communist…but above all; I’m not ready to be tricked again with hypnotizing words and promises, this is the human voice in me, and for the sake of my\others humanity and not by the means of being involved in any political game.
Policy is dirty; this is what my daddy (who was a communist and a fighting one I think!) told me while I was crying…and I mean it CRYING because he said something like “I don’t really think it’s a good idea right now to become a communist dear!”, when I was telling him “I wanna join the party”…I guess I rushed at that time…and he’s right…
Me: I know what I am…trust myself and believe in me…and that’s all I need for the minute .Inner Peace. No more buying smiles…when I’m sad I’m gonna cry the hell out of my pain, and when I’m happy I’m gonna invest the minute…beasts are killed, and CARPE DIEM…
Eating: not into anything but chocolates! I mean I can stay like 5 days and eat nothing but chocolates, and of course a lot of coffee…all kinds of coffee.
Finally people change, but it’s really important to set your mind on some basics that cannot be changed, those concepts or principles or ideas…are the ones about humanity, about you sitting to yourself and feel that you can only tell yourself these stuff…they are just like your thumb lines and DNA…only you have them…this is what it means to be an INDIVIDUAL.
Today I introduced myself to my own feelings…
In silent agony, after all these years…
They spoke to me, after all these years…
(Note: yesterday is some blurry moments from the past and not particularly yesterday or few days before, and so today is not the future…it’s the current minute…)
Yesterday:
People: I really gave much…took much, cared for much, get involved much, loved much, and wrapped myself to people much, lost many, gained few.
Music: alternative, soft rock, blues, and jazz, some Arabic…
Started guitar lessons…thinking “I’ll be playing these French oldies and my Bryan Adams’ favorites and fayrouze…”
Studying: books’ wormy…
Coffee shops: cherries waterpipe (argheleh) with any kind of coca, diet 7up most of the time…
Clothing: anything that fits me, because I was like 10 kg heavier :D
Parents: really didn’t like them…
Religions: drifted…not getting myself into anywhere asking the questions I couldn’t find their answers at the time…
Policy: protest!!!
Me: confused, killed some inner beasts and fought with some others…bought many smiles…
Eating: ate much much; and I reckon MUCH…of everything…
Today:
People: Numb as I’ve never been before when dealing with ppl no matter how close they used to be, but I’m relieved as I’ve never been…
Cut off the wires that connected me with ppl and prevented me from being in complete peace with myself.
Music: hard rock, metal (Doom, Gothic, Symphonic, Progressive, Black)… reduced my Arabic albums to end up having only Fayrouz’s and Ziad’s and Maghda’s albums. Bye bye bryan adams and oldies, (I’m now dreaming of playing Tarrega’s and Segovia’s and Bach’s great pieces, and thinking “it’s easy now to play electric…let’s give it a try!”), some jazz…
Studying: what??!! Say “studying” in front of me three times and I’m dead! cuz it’s not fair! Wallhi it’s not fair, I mean by what means, I took 24\30 in my programming practical exam, and I haven’t study a shit?? And my friend who helped me getting some points 5 minutes before we get the papers, only had 17!! This is ironic…no more studying! (I didn’t use any indirect ways I swear... ;))…so what do you think?
Coffee shops: grapes’ waterpipe, and only Orange coca…
Clothing: I can wear whatever…lost 10kgs of my extra 14kgs, I’m proud of this! I mean this is an achievement, this is a sign that when I will to do something, it’s done for sure, I can do whatever, I just need to will…
I’m into black stuff more…I like silver accessories.
Parents: proud of them as individuals, thy finally understood the independence I seek in our relation and they’re respecting this, but they drop some advices from time to time, which I appreciate.
Religions: My Humanity First…now and for good…
Policy: “membership means nothing” I’m not baathi…just because a paper says so… I believe in the “Great Syria” concept but I’m not a Syrian Nationalist …, I believe we must separate religion from policy but I’m not communist…but above all; I’m not ready to be tricked again with hypnotizing words and promises, this is the human voice in me, and for the sake of my\others humanity and not by the means of being involved in any political game.
Policy is dirty; this is what my daddy (who was a communist and a fighting one I think!) told me while I was crying…and I mean it CRYING because he said something like “I don’t really think it’s a good idea right now to become a communist dear!”, when I was telling him “I wanna join the party”…I guess I rushed at that time…and he’s right…
Me: I know what I am…trust myself and believe in me…and that’s all I need for the minute .Inner Peace. No more buying smiles…when I’m sad I’m gonna cry the hell out of my pain, and when I’m happy I’m gonna invest the minute…beasts are killed, and CARPE DIEM…
Eating: not into anything but chocolates! I mean I can stay like 5 days and eat nothing but chocolates, and of course a lot of coffee…all kinds of coffee.
Finally people change, but it’s really important to set your mind on some basics that cannot be changed, those concepts or principles or ideas…are the ones about humanity, about you sitting to yourself and feel that you can only tell yourself these stuff…they are just like your thumb lines and DNA…only you have them…this is what it means to be an INDIVIDUAL.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
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